Evangelicals

Today on the university commons an evangelical preacher group drew quite the crowd whilst spouting nonsensical drivel about the word of god. You have to have a certain admiration for evangelicals - to believe every word of The Bible to be gospel regardless of the wealth of evidence that suggests quite the opposite. What's more, the passages that moderate christians tend to avoid, like those found in the Book of Revelations for example, are just those that evangelicals latch onto as a cheap conduit for their anti-Semitic views. Why, you ask, am I in such a good mood then, considering the large number of people who gathered to listen? Well, as I made my way over to the ruckus, I was greeted by the sound of heckling, whispering, laughter, and overall derision. What music to my ears! The American's aren't as feckless, impressionable, nor as stupid as we had previously upheld. There is a worthy cause motivating Richard Dawkins' current US tour. Let me tell you the best of it, stood beside the bambling female speaker was a couple holding the following placard: "WARNING Masturbators Thieves Liars Fornicators Homosexuals JUDGEMENT DAY". When I nonchalantly approached these sordid little goons and asked, "what happens if I fit all of these?" the woman replied with words to the effect of: repent your sins and accept Jesus Christ. What a moral teaching that is, comrades! And lastly, in the eternal words of Penn & Teller: "We need more atheists, and nothing will get you there faster than reading the damn Bible."