Radiohead Week - 16

The mystery of further material deepens. Theorists, computer nerds, conspirators, and speculators are united in their effort to uncover the truth about additional songs that may form extra branches to The King Of Limbs.

Three things strike me. First, one can almost take it for granted that there is more material lying in wait; all previous Radiohead albums have been garnished with a decent batch of B-sides (not including Kid A, although Amnesiac followed soon after). Most recently, In Rainbows came with the bonus disc of 8 tracks; Amnesiac’s B-Sides form their own mini-album of greatness; OK Computer was followed by the Airbag: How’s My Driving EP that held 7 little gems; and the list goes on.

Second, the band have been extremely quiet since the release last week. In fact, they’ve been deathly silent. There’s been no media uprising of the usual sort in which one finds the papers drenched with interviews, and television and radio shows announcing bookings. This has never happened before. Of course, they could all be sitting at home, reclining by the fire with a cup of tea and their doting wives to keep them company, luxuriating in the knowledge that they’re the best band in the world, and generally letting the viral tornado build and build. This, however, doesn’t strike me as feasible – they were quick to quash rumors about a potential forthcoming EP, supposedly entitled "Wall Of Ice", in 2009 with the release of These Are My Twisted Words.

Third, even by the standards of the Radiohead fan-base, virile, active, and obsessive as it is, the tornado of speculation is turning into a veritable hurricane. If this silence continues any longer someone’s going to have to call George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg. Never before have the online message boards received quite so much attention, and the fans aren’t there to argue the qualities of the album; they want more. Even the skeptics concede, if the storm has already hit these heights, there may just be something to this.

If you’re a spectator to all this, check in with this blog: The King Of Limbs Part 2, where all the evidence is nicely laid out in plain English. This fellow, “APORIA”, on the AtEase boards seems very interesting indeed, and well-read too. Octavia Paz and Ovid make up his reading list. He also quotes a line of Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake about the inability of language to accurately reflect the whole of reality. Could it be a member of the band? Colin? Similarly, the fact that the album artwork seems to be encoded with birdsong is quite incredible, made more so by the fact that it sounds like “Sing A Song Of Sixpence” when played backwards. Personally, I’m not sure about this last one, but would Radiohead go to these lengths to bring a revolution to the revolution? You damn right they would.

Radiohead Week - 15

“The last taboo in stand-up”, noted Stewart Lee at the conclusion of his routine last year, “is a man trying to do something sincerely and well”. A joke is always funnier when it brings with it an air of truth. In the case of Thom Yorke’s video for Lotus Flower, which I had already palmed aside as a masterpiece that required no further attention, Lee’s quaint remark encapsulates the way in which Radiohead hereby transcend the boundary between music and art.

Lotus Flower has become a viral sensation; garnering over 5 million hits, no less, over the course of six says, which is truly remarkable. That number, one considers, cannot simply come about through bespectacled Radiohead fans sitting awake in their bedroom hitting refresh every five minutes, which implies that outsiders, real people are actually watching it too. Imagine that! Perhaps the best way to gauge a Radiohead album is to assess the way it’s received by newcomers, virgins, the blessed, those who know-not-what-they-miss. Indeed, a good chum of mine, Luke sparked a conversation with me yesterday, unprompted, about the merits of Lotus Flower. “I like it”, he said, “and I don’t know why”. Ah, if ever there were a convert waiting to feel the limb of kings reach out and touch him, it’s here.

There’s been a flurry of online discussion about the video. Some have declared they don’t “get” it, as though there is anything to get. Similarly, the predictable array of unanswerable questions have all been asked; is it some sort of social commentary, a satire of the music industry or of pop culture, a parody of Beyonce’s Single Ladies? (There's even a convincing spoof interview with the "choreographer" on YouTube that analyses (or not) the dance moves.) Is it just a joke? Was it carefully and deliberately constructed, a marketing technique with a view to becoming a viral hit, evidenced perhaps by the dubbed mock-up videos and imitation videos? My answer to all if this is No. It’s a man, on a stage, attempting to do something sincerely and well.

Radiohead Week - 14

What follows is the rather bold opening gambit from AtEase boarder "iluvanal":

With Radiohead's 8th studio album, The King of Limbs, they've done it again. Created yet another album about anal sex.

The evidence, one has to admit, is almost comprehensive, and beautifully laid out by "iluvanal". Examples of musical and lyrical analysis include this interpretation of Lotus Flower:

"I would shape myself into your pocket (pocket = vag) // Invisible/Do what you want." - Here is Ed, defending himself from a selfish woman's desires for the inferior form of intercourse.

I've been a user on AtEase for over five years, and I have never read anything so hilarious on main. Go here.

Radiohead Week - 13

If you're planning on buying the download, may I recommend that you shell out for the high quality .wav version. You will feel better about yourself, and there are some moments of volume shift that would get lost among the .mp3 compression proceess, particularly on Feral, which is fast becoming my favorite Radiohead punctuation track since Hunting Bears, and it may be even better.

Radiohead Week - 12

Speculation about imminent material is rife, and I happen to think it's far from unfounded. Inevitably, however, there are some rather wayward hypotheses floating around; one boarder suggested that the vinyl may be writable and degradably impressed by a chemical agent in the artwork. Okay. Someone even posted to this page on Google Books about the "Separator Tree Algorithm". "Separator" is the last track on the [album], and The King of Limbs is a reference to a tree in Wiltshire. Sound stupid? Well, maybe, until you note that the book was published in Tokyo, Japan, the location for the botched promo on Friday night, and the home of Hachinko the dog, who also seems inextricably linked in some way to The King of Limbs. I still think that the evidence I posted below is significant, alongside some twitter posts from Chieftan Mews, who appears to be legit. All of this gives me a raging Radiohead rager. If you're not on board with all this, it's the kind of thing for which Radiohead fans were made.

Radiohead Week - 11

Holly just said: "I've spent the whole week listening to you talk about it, so why would I want to read about it too?". Ahh.

Radiohead Week - 10

Also, lest we forget this. For those of you who don't know, it was recorded illicitly by a Radiohead taper, "hoserama", during a souncheck in 2008 somehwere in the US (if I remember rightly). He then decided not to release the song for the enjoyment of fans, but rather insist that he would only trade it for a bootleg recording of equivalent value in terms of rarity and quality. But, of course, there is nothing of equivalent value, so all we are left with are these 75 seconds, which he circulated to qualify his veritability. Some fans booed and hissed his selfishness, others praised his resourcefulness and generosity (not without, in my opinion, a conscious desire to entice some more out of him). I fell into the former group. Wanker.

Radiohead Week - 9

Speculation about additional material is spreading, blooming, and flourishing like (sorry) the limbs of a tree. What I find most interesting, among a salad of strong contenders, is this minor slip-up in an interview with Thom from back in August 2010 for 'The Believer'. Yorke said:

No, we’ve actually got a good plan, but I can’t tell you what it is, because someone will rip it off. But we’ve got this great idea for putting things out.

I don't mean to piss liberally on your parade, sir, but releasing a digital download through your website is not an especially new or indeed "great idea". Although, if in fact there was something waiting patiently in the wings... Well, now. If you are a fan, and haven't long given up on my self-satisfied splurge of admiration and sicophancy, read this thread on AtEase (I assume you have an account). I will not have it said, by the way, that speculation about new music comes as a result of disappointment for The King Of Limbs. Quite the reverse. Undoubtedly, there is a poisonous minority who appear intent on pursuing that strain as some kind of insipid ritual to pretension and elitism, but for the main we are Radiohead fans, and this is what we do. We are obsessive. Although, I have to confess, the absence of all but three of the new songs sampled by Thom over the last year has heightened my suspicions somewhat. What has happened to The Present Tense, and Let Me Take Control? They have not been forgotten, let me assure you. If, however, you have given in to temptation and binged on bootlegs on these two, I urge you to reconsider.

Radiohead Week - 8

(Note: all opinions presented here are liable to change and are subject to further review (!)) My initial impressions are as follows: like a teenage boy losing his virginity, I’ve fallen in love.

Bloom has already become one of my favorites, instantly signaling yet another musical departure clearly inspired by, and originated in the music of Four Tet and Burial. It’s like The Eraser two point ohhh. And who would have thought that Morning Mr. Magpie was going to resurface after it was criminally overlooked for In Rainbows? All we had to go on was this webcast performance, which promised much, and found itself frequently on repeat on my iTunes. Indeed, what immortalizes Thom Yorke’s genius is his appreciation for what makes a song, and no element was lost in the studio rendering of MMM.

As De Sade wrote on licentiousness, “the best way of enlargening and multiplying one’s desires is to try to limit them”. The sexual merits of Radiohead have already been noted on this blog, and I could not be more satisfied with my endeavors to starve myself of bootleg recordings. In so doing, Give Up The Ghost sounds just as fresh as when I heard Thom perform it live in Santa Barbara. Similarly, Codex made me cry on first and second listens, forcing me to reassess my view that Pyramid Song would never be surpassed in its profound tenderness and melancholy.

Further, what can I possibly say about Lotus Flower? It is a masterpiece. Thom’s voice is ratcheted up to full falsetto, unleashed into the pits like a castrated songbird, launching the album into its second phase. The effect is perhaps even more resounding than when I first listened to Reckoner over three years ago.

Other reactions: well, the bass is very much to the fore, indicating that Colin must have become quite confrontational for once during the mixing process. Equally, the percussion section seems to have undergone a complete overhaul, perhaps inspired in part by Mauro Refosco’s superb collaborative work with Thom over the summer with Atoms for Peace. Jonny’s previous movie scores, I would argue, pervade, especially during the first half of the album; his overlapping rhythms and sounds are responsible in part for pushing the album’s genre into unexplored territory. The only disappointment, if we were pushed to find one, is the absence of Ed’s backing vocals, but we can’t have everything. Still, it was Ed who decided to leak the album one day early without the band’s permission (that’s what I suspect anyway).

There’s so much more to say, but I already regret saying so much at this early stage. I’ll shut up for a bit. Go enjoy the record.

Radiohead Week - 7

Garth Jennings deserves a medal for this video. It's undoubtedly Radiohead's finest since Street Spirit in 1995, and this may even take-over that mantle. The choreography credit goes to a man named Wayne McGregor, but I don't see why; the dancing is clearly all Thom's work, if we can call it that. We've known for about a decade that Thom's a complete fucking lunatic, but who would have thought it would be so perfectly captured in this way? So often presented as the dour face of a dour indie band, Thom has not only put that stereotype to rest, and with dramatic impact, but also reinvented the music video for a dying market. There's no ego, no complacency, just unadulterated sensual delight. On this evidence alone, there is no one as effortlessly charismatic in music as Thom Yorke, and, if I may say so, no one quite so erogenous either.



My favorite moment comes at around 1.20 for obvious reasons. He knows it.

Radiohead Week - 6

News just in courtesy of Time Out Tokyo:

Radiohead: 6-minute promo video, to be screened in Shibuya, may be cancelled due to police worries.

I'm going to bed.

Radiohead Week - 5

It's now only three hours until all is revealed (possibly) at Hachinko Square in Tokyo, but I'm hedging my bets and popping off to bed. I can't stay up to 3am for something that could, ultimately, prove pointless. Such are the tribulations of a Radiohead fan, but it's worth every second. AtEase has been my home for the day, and the endless speculation has driven most insane. I understand the Japaneezers aren't holding up too well either. Indeed, 7 o'clock on a Friday night in the center of the busiest pedestrian precinct on the planet is probably quite cluttered anyway, let alone with the imminent invasion of thousands of gawping Radiohead fans. The members of Radiohead know this, of course, and they also know it would be irresponsible to post a message such as this and not have something rather grand lined up. The band's spokesperson has confirmed, however, that fans should not attend and expect to see the band in person. The "in person" addendum to that statement is rather telling in its inclusion. I would suggest that the famous big-screens of Hachinko Square are about to play host to the world premiere of the King of Limbs. I shall awaken to the news, collated and nicely dispersed across the usual outlets. If you can manage the slog, here's the live video link-up; it's already a clusterfuck. If I lived nearby I'd go down there and hold up a cryptic message to confuse fans. Something like: Radiohead Tickets Now Sold Out.

Radiohead Week - 4

EBay just found the safety catch. A "near mint" copy of the Street Spirit (Fade Out) single is on its way to your humble and ill-disciplined blost. Sod off. It was a bargain at $1.25.

Radiohead Week - 3

Someone asked me the other day what my favorite book was. After some deliberation I said Catch-22, although that’s a lie. The real answer, I suppose, is 2666 by Roberto Bolaño. If I was cast away on a desert island and could chose only one book to take along with me for the rest of my days, Bolaño’s epic would provide ample delight and literary nutrition. All of that’s by the by, however, because the real real answer is Lunar Park by Bret Easton Ellis. In effect, it’s impossible to choose, and, as you may expect, dear reader, the same is true of Radiohead albums. Five years ago I would be unhesitant in claiming Hail to the Thief as my favorite. And at some point between then and now I would have firmly pinned my colours to OK Computer, but now it is, undoubtedly, Kid A, and I can’t see myself being swayed. Then again, in preparing myself for The King of Limbs, in what direction do I turn? I immediately plugged In Rainbows and Amnesiac into the headphones. That’s what I want, something untoward, something dark, something untouchable. In some ways, I want to hate the new album, and I want everyone to hate it. I don’t want to be asked, ‘what’s your favorite band?’, and then be gushed upon with chants of ‘oh my god, me too!’, when I answer ‘…erm, Radiohead’. Over time let it grow to become their magnum opus.

Radiohead Week - 2

When the news broke on Monday morning two alternatives presented themselves; either one could abstain from Radiohead for five days, distract oneself, minimize the anticipation, and approach The King of Limbs fresh, or one could re-immerse oneself in everything Radiohead: trawl the website, become an AtEase bum, return to Mortigi Tempo, delve the archives at the Radiohead Discography, analyze old setlists at 58Hours, even scalp around eBay looking to kick-start the old collection. As if you needed confirmation, I fell straight into the latter. It is Radiohead week on the blog, and a week of Radiohead it shall be. Scouring for bargains on eBay has already shot two holes in my wallet. I picked up a mint promo copy of Phil Selway’s first single, By Some Miracle, and a copy of the Airbag/How’s My Driving EP, which, I’m assured, is in “very good” condition. I already have two copies of the Airbag EP, and I imagine they’ll both be in better nick than the one on its way, but hey, it was only 4 dollars, and that’s what being a fanboy faggot is all about. Before I know it I'll be buying Japanese promo editions of Amnesiac on minidisk.

Radiohead Week - 1

Yesterday I asked Holly whether she would be purchasing the download for The King of Limbs, to which she replied: “Well, I’d kind of like to try before I buy”. Okay. So, as though seven previous studio albums, one live album, and about 300 B-sides and rarities of the highest order were not enough to prove Radiohead worthy of her investment, we had an argument. The rather delicate matter of Fake Plastic Trees arose: your humble and dignified blost arguing for its glory, his missus arguing against. I claimed that FPT (as it’s known in the selecter circles) is one of the seminal tracks not only of the Radiohead canon, but also of music in the modern age. Holly claimed that it was, and still is simply insufferable, whilst simultaneously intensifying the stereotype that Radiohead are a moody, depressing, slash-your-wrists-type band. Well, that mantle should, as we all know, go to No Surprises, but that’s neither here nor there. I’ve said it before, and I’ll go on doing so; until you’ve heard the lines, “if I could be who you wanted…”, bellowed by 60,000 people in a field, you should be ashamed to die. Admittedly, however, I did have to concede that, yes, there are a handful of Radiohead tracks that I can’t quite stick either. Just is one such example. I hate it, and I think it’s terrible. And, although this is almost blasphemous, up until I heard this song live in 2006, I had a real problem with Paranoid Android. No one, not even the most elitist Radiohead fan is going to thump you if you parade your dislike for Million Dollar Question or How Do You?, but those other two, I fear, might land me a pummeling. As I’ve come to learn over the years, a fan’s tastes are liable to change. A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, Jim Armshaw maintained for years that Like Spinning Plates was superior to Life in a Glasshouse, which is false. I suspect he harbored a secret kinship with LSP because he saw it performed live in Maida Vale studios, and we did not (the bastard). Over time, perspective always reins. In the end, Holly and I’s argument became so incensed that she asked me to choose between the following hypothetical scenarios: having a once in a lifetime wedding, or seeing Radiohead’s final performance. It’s totally unanswerable, and let’s hope that situation never arises…

The King of Limbs

There’s nothing like a shot of Radiohead into the veins to concentrate the faculties somewhat. Through the usual port of call, Dead Air Space, Radiohead have announced that their eighth studio album, The King of Limbs is to be released on Saturday. Yes, this Saturday. Although, who of you reading this blog had not already heard the news? Ah, the habit of checking radiohead.com thrice daily for as long as I can remember pays off yet again. October 3rd 2007 was a special day for the same reason, and so too was the day back in early 2006 when a UK tour was announced. I distinctly remember running home during school hours in order to spend about 400 smackers on a hoard of tickets. (Recall that one, Thom?) On occasion I wish I had been born a decade earlier, allowing me enough mental maturity to track this thing across its entire progression. Then again, were it not for one or two select friends (who shall undoubtedly endure for the duration), my infatuation with the band may never have begun. I could not be more excited; one of my life’s great passions, great loves bears its fruit. Alongside literature and, of course, my beloved Holly, Radiohead has not and never will be surpassed. These days, these moments, these long hours of baited anticipation are to be savored, rolled around the tongue, sniffed at and smelt, drawn into the lungs, and generally and liberally applied to the genitals. Here’s to The Present Tense, Let Me Take Control, Give Up The Ghost, and the wealth of ditties from which The King of Limbs may draw. Just thinking about this, let alone writing about it, is enough to land one’s emotions firmly in the wet and wispy areas of nostalgia and sexual arousal.

Faulkner

"What star falls unseen?"

Egypt Again Again, and Ed

As Egypt celebrates one must resist the temptation to do likewise (a silent fist-pump may, if necessary, be excused). Mubarak’s resignation is, needless to say, something of which the Egyptian populace can be very proud. The responsibility falls upon those in the know, however, to highlight the dangers of hastily appointing bag-grabbers and opportunists, such as Yussuf al-Qaradawi. As ever, check in with Michael Totten from time to time, and why not pre-order his book while you’re at it. Also, for more, see Lee Smith on the subject. He writes:

As a media personality with a presence on TV and the Internet—and who is far out of reach of Egyptian internal security and free from Egyptian censors—Qaradawi is perfectly positioned to play the role of Muslim Brotherhood publicist or even kingmaker over the coming months. Nor is there any particular reason to think that Qaradawi’s willingness to embrace facets of modernity while promoting violence and hatred makes him less than dangerous to the dream of a future liberal society in Egypt and to Western interests in the region.

Speaking of which, as a touching little aside, God, or, excuse me, Ed O’Brien of Radiohead writes on Dead Air Space about the impact, influence, and significance of social media outlets as a means of mobilizing people while unifying and concretizing a new generation of politically active young people. If, on the other hand, you’re tired of all this jip about Cairo and shit, remind yourself of why one should pray twice daily to Mr. O’Brien by watching his classic performance during Fake Plastic Trees at their Haiti benefit gig last year (skip to about 6.45). It’s pretty real.

Top Gear and Steve Coogan

On this one you’ll note that my timing has been rather stunted by the desire to wait a week, observe what transpired, and then assess. When Richard Hammond sat in the converted, leather-upholstered seat on the Top Gear set two weeks ago and remarked, after some preliminary banter of the usual sort, “I’m sorry, but just imagine waking up and remembering you’re Mexican: ‘aww, no!’”, it did cross my mind that a scandal may yet come of this.

Scandal cometh it did. I’m not going to respond to the bed-wettingly weak apology issued by the BBC, because apologies do not particularly interest me, and nor should they you in this case. A certain Steve Coogan, however, requires our attention.

On Saturday, Coogan published an article in The Guardian that ran with the following tagline: “Top Gear's offensive stereotyping has gone too far”. As though the controversy hadn’t ballooned enough after the blissfully ironic news that came of the Mexican ambassador reacting without the merriment that perhaps Clarkson and friends may have expected, a longstanding friend of the show, Coogan weighed in and declared, “I’ve had enough”.

As Coogan’s largely reasoned and eloquent article continues, however, we read this paragraph:

OK, guys, I've got some great ideas for your next show. Jeremy, why not have James describe some kosher food as looking like "sick with cheese on it"? No? Thought not. Even better, why not describe some Islamic fundamentalists as lazy and feckless?

As anyone who has ever partaken in an argument will no doubt be aware, sarcasm is the last resort of a losing antagonist. And yet, ignore the sarcasm, and direct your attention to the allusions to organized religion. Here, replace the word “kosher” with, say, “French”, and the sentiment suddenly becomes somewhat meaningless. The French, you may well claim, require no special dispensation, or immunity from criticism. Why not so, then, with Judaism or Islam? Or, indeed, Mexicans?

Soon after, Coogan references the BBC’s “mealy-mouthed apology”, and argues that it “neatly sidestepped one hugely important fact – ethnicity”, thus invoking the accusation of racism. Such claims are to be taken very seriously, and it is a debate worth having on any occasion. In this instance, however, by drawing attention to the notion of ethnicity, Coogan actually highlights his own, albeit unconscious racism. By implying that Mexicans require special treatment, contrary to his intentions, Coogan demonstrates a commonly unobserved facet of the liberal left.

If one were to maintain that the Top Gear presenters’ comments were offensive, crudely articulated, and indicative of an inherent racism, one must also chart this vein of reasoning to its conclusion. Deductively, it follows that, if one grants Mexicans immunity from conceivably offensive humour, one must also grant the French immunity. In turn, one must also grant Jews, Christians, and Muslims immunity. Who would desire such a scenario? And so, without falling to the fallacy of the slippery slope, given such a demand, everyone, it could be argued, should remain immune from potentially offensive humour.

Further, Coogan, nor anyone else, can appeal to the notion of the BBC as uniquely distinct in its output from other media outlets. One should never overlook the fact that, as with all cases involving television, it is always an option to reach for the remote.

Egypt Again

US special envoy, Frank Wisner just recommended that Mubarak stay in power to oversee the transition into a democracy. This really pisses me off to no end. A liberal democracy cannot be effectively implemented by an 82 year-old ruler. This kind of move plops Wisner, and the rest of the US, firmly on the fence, with a spike up its dilated anus. This is like claiming that humans are given free will by god. Well, if it's given by god, you had no choice, and therefore not free. Wisner's statements are even more penetratingly infuriating than his underlying message. Read:

I believe that President Mubarak's continued leadership is crucial - it's his chance to write his own legacy.

Were twenty-nine years of unfettered dictatorship not enough to implement a "legacy"? Lagacies are to be honored, respected, and, crucially, upheld. We want no such thing from Mubarak.

Egypt

Even the BBC, a bastion of good sense, has the following headline regarding the ongoing violence in Egypt: “Mubarak ‘fears chaos if he quits’”. Well, sir, you’ve got chaos already. I imagine that’s not a direct quote from Mubarak, as even a senile and power-hungry Islamist dictator tends to refrain from employing the third person when discussing themselves in public. However, do not listen to this sort of rhetoric. I cannot emphasize that enough. The Guardian ran a similar headline earlier today on their website, as though the opinions of the ruler of a country who hasn’t felt the need for a public election in almost thirty years deserves that sort of authority. Let the people choose. Hold an election NOW.

Admittedly, an election would do little good if it handed power to the likes of the Muslim Brotherhood, one of the most vicious, insipid, wretched, hateful, dogmatic Islamist sects going. Just because they appear to side with the pro-democracy protesters on this one does not mean that they do. Ah, the unity one uncovers when fighting a common enemy. As Michael Totten correctly points out, “if Egyptians elect the Muslim Brotherhood in a free and fair election, and the Muslim Brotherhood then rigs or even cancels every election that follows, Egypt will not be in any way shape or form a democracy. It will be a dictatorship that happened to have an election.”

Shadi Hamid, somebody who, from now on, I’ll have fairly little time for, makes a contrasting argument. He claims, were the West to sidle up to Saudi Arabia somewhat, we may yet forge a happy marriage with the Muslim Brotherhood. Thank you no. He writes:

The Brotherhood, to be sure, is not a force for liberalism, nor is it likely to become so anytime soon. The group holds views that most Americans would be uncomfortable with, including on women's rights and segregation of the sexes. But we're not voting in Egyptian elections; Egyptians are.

I find this extremely irritating. This final sentence encapsulates fairly well the self-deprecating tone that has come to embed itself and grow within liberal consciousness for some time. Hamid seems to say; if we can simply put our social, moral, and political values aside for a moment, and remember that Egypt has its own set of social, moral, and political values, then what’s to dislike about the prospect of the Muslim Brotherhood taking control? This is false reasoning. Our superset of ideologies, although by no means perfect, is not to be discarded at an instant’s notice. Our values can and, indeed, should be applied in all cases. That’s why they’re values. To use an old cliché, there is a moral high-ground here, and the West should take it.

No, we will not stand idly by as the Muslim Brotherhood opportunistically attempts to make nice with international media outlets at a time of crisis. What’s more, we stand alongside the demonstrators in Cairo and elsewhere who are desperately and resolutely trying, non-violently, to bring about major change.

Sandmonkey, the alias of an Egyptian activist and blogger, is one such comrade. He was detained earlier today but, reports suggest, he was released soon after. His blog, in the meantime, was taken down, and yet now it appears to be back online. Such is the ebb and flow of a revolution. If it is possible to find amusement in times like these, Christopher Hitchens rather amusingly noted in his Slate column this week that the surest way for a dictator to give up the ghost is to shut down the domestic media. Anyway, for a very insightful overview of the scene on the streets, read Sandmonkey’s latest entry, “Egypt, Right Now!”

Frank Busch Departing

Frank Busch, the head coach, figurehead, and mainstay of Arizona Swimming yesterday announced that he would not be returning for another season. He has decided to accept the offer from USA Swimming’s powers-that-be of becoming US National Team Director. It requires little effort to realize that the job is perhaps one of the most honored, important, and sought-after jobs not just in US swimming, but in world swimming, and my teammates and I wish him all the best for the future. Having accepted the job as head coach at Arizona before I was born in 1989, he has demonstrated nothing but the utmost commitment to the program, the school, and the generations of swimmers that have passed through the ranks. Under him, Amanda Beard dominated women’s breaststroke for Olympics after Olympics, Ryk Neethling forged a career as one of the greatest sportsmen of all time, Simon Burnett, my old compatriot set a US Open Record that may never be broken, and the joint men’s and women’s teams of 2008 both won the prestigious Collegiate National Championships, to name but a handful. Now that he’s leaving the post after 22 seasons, it’s up to yours truly, as co-captain, to lead this team to another national title, the only conceivable send-off befitting the legacy Coach Busch has propagated all these years.

Twenty-Two is Better than One

Besides the usual round of certain television shows that I tend to successfully negotiate every week, it’s extremely rare for me to click through to the terrestrial broadcast channels of my very nice 27” HDTV. The reasons for this, beside the typical time constraints, are fairly simple; the commercials on American TV stretch 45 minute shows out into 75 minute marathons, and it’s not uncommon to surf the available outlets without encountering anything other than adverts. While I was in Austin, Texas this weekend, however, I was afforded a few hours of tedium here and there in which the offerings of the flatscreen provided the most salient option. For example, HBO, rather forgivingly, were running a House omnibus, which provided the much-needed matchsticks for the eyelids during the ad-breaks. Amidst all this I stumbled across something remarkable, something I undoubtedly would have missed were it not for the aforementioned sight-stilts.

Apple’s ongoing battle with the anti-monopoly folk has forced them to appease somewhat and broach an agreement with Verizon, who will soon take up joint provider rights to the iPhone alongside the notoriously unreliable AT&T. Of course, public perception, or rather, the maintenance of their public image is all important to the gurus behind Apple’s marketing thrust. And so, their latest television commercial features two iPhones shown side by side, fiddled with and probed by the peerless hand-models of old in a sequence entitled,“ Two is better than One”. Now, I’ve never had cause enough to buy an Apple product, largely because I’ve thus far remained satisfied with the output of Bill Gates and co., plus the price-tag for many of Apple’s products hasn’t ever felt entirely justified relative to their competitors. However, and this is a big however, I may yet make that move on account of this latest advert. Keep an eye on the left iPhone of the two and you may, dear reader, spot the telling detail that has brought about this sudden change of heart. Got it?