My Sunday

I've had an absurd day. I almost feel as though I'm trapped in some kind of flamboyant Pinter sketch. Every time I step out the flat I'm confronted with a world of preening eyes and contemplative glares, and I can't quite decide whether my face is inviting or overly intimidating. When I took my rubbish out this morning the woman who lives beneath me (who, I've decided, is mad) followed my every step from her walkway. I discovered she'd placed her potted plants just under the rubbish skip, presumably to use the shade, but that's optimistic. Then, as if I hadn't quite fulfilled my role as innocent bystander, she marched up the steps just as I was walking across in the opposite direction, struck a pose, to which I met her eye and said with a grin, "Hi there". She didn't respond. Instead, she began marching towards me and then shifted direction right at the last minute. All the while I expected a conversation so I maintained my smile and eye-contact. Weird. I cant quite decide whether to laugh or call the police. Then, as if that wasn't awkward enough, I was confronted three times in the space of three minutes on my way to the shops by the less fortunate asking for money; the last of whom I'd met the week before and gave him all my coins. I said, "hey, mate, I saw you last week". He walked off. Perhaps there's something about my face that's alluring and my speech just turns people away. I'll bear that in mind. To cap it all, I was left bewildered by my Pinter-esque encounter with the server during my weekly trip to McDonalds:

I'd like a quarter-pounder with cheese meal, please.
Would you like cheese with that?
Yes, please.
Do you want to make that a meal?
Yes, please.
Medium or large size?
Medium please.
For here or to go?
For here, please. And I'd like six chicken nuggets as well.
Ok, would you like any special sauces with that?
No, I'll be alright with the ketchup.
Oh, the ketchup is just round the corner.
Thanks.
For here or to go?
For here, please. But I'd also like three of your cookies.
Ok. For here or to go?
For here.
Can I have your name?
Yeah, it's Rob. R-O-B.
Robin?
Yes.