Beirupdate, glazed

Looking back at notes written in a hand drunk on poisons we sack off our lives for a week. Generous gunfire whistles between the nearby trees and flashbangs damage nothing so we drown our ambivalence at the bar where earlier they fleeced local lines to mount a screen on someone’s home. A girl called E arrives from Texas or London and again it’s all a game and we run around ruining her mind with glazed faces and blue label I don’t steal from my employer without indifference. J and E leave me to turn arabic to a room full of better women when I realize I’m still hanging and smell of breath but I go full gosling on the little americans and they agree to maintain our celebrity at hard rock later that day. On the walk home I’m wearing sandals and shorts and a cut-off tee that may well blaze a star of david into the eyes of every passer-by. I open the door to M who says the army are in the streets and that was definitely not celebratory gunfire and groups with black flags kill all foreigners on sight but J and I say we’ll take it. Together we split with E and join the little americans on the waterfront to walk the stairs to the deadzone that smells of diamond beer and buffalo. Shit in my sinuses has fucked my ears so I can’t hear a word barelylegal says to me but I grin and nod and it passes the hours before she bounces back down the stairs. The other waits an hour before inviting her boyfriend to the table and he seems impressed when I wedge four of his cigarettes between my fingers and suck the nubs as though depraved. J and I cash a row of glasses in haste and later J admits not remembering losing. By now the americans have left us on the ledge and we’re awash with booze and wilting like dandelions in a storm. In the morning E tells me I called the waitress a cunt and shows me pictures of men that look like us dancing with wet floor sandwich boards and talking down our security entourage while wearing hard rock Beirut t-shirts intended for minors and we agree we must return. Before she leaves E says she wants to do something blogworthy and she does.